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Posts Tagged ‘Baked beans’

This video short by Colt Jenders explores the phantasmagorical land of baked beans and jellyfish. Lovingly prepared and slowly simmered for hours in a mild but flavorful tomato and molasses sauce, these beans have been meticulously quality tested by only the best mid-twentieth century housewives. Eaten hot or cold, nothing else quite compares to the iron, fiber, and protein (not to mention taste!) packed into a single can of baked beans and jellyfish. Even children (young and old) with particular and discerning tastes will just love these delicious beans!
As a special promotion by your much beloved baked beans company, each can of beans purchased comes with a gender-neutral doll. Youngsters across every fair nation will be ever fascinated by such artistry in plastic. Underclothing worn by the dolls is of only the finest woven cotton. Each doll is adorned in a handmade kilt whose wool is produced by the world’s most deluxe sheep located in a secluded village north of Glasgow.

***Warning: visual or olfactorial consumption of these beans may cause hallucinations of iridescent glass-like invertebrates and incessant noise created by the one and only Tuna Mind Melt. Consume responsibly.

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